Saturday, May 23, 2009
7:45 AM
Tiffany here.
I miss you.
I do.
But no, Its wrong.
I am not suppose to miss you.
I am tired. I feel like ending everything will be great.
My heart is telling me something. But my head is telling me another.
What my heart is telling me will hurt everyone. If i am to follow, i will be hurting people i don't want to hurt. What my head tells me will make everyone relieved.
So, I am to chose what my head tells me. But what I am following is tearing me apart.
Its okay. Its only me. Don't bother. And to all of you reading don't even try to talk me out. I am sorry but I am doing what's right. Am I not? I am.
Oh God. I shouted at someone yesterday. In my life I have never shouted at anyone before. I shouted at him. I shouldn't have. But I did. I have a gift for hurting people. I should keep myself away from those I am hurting.
As I was talking to Erik these days, he seems to see through everything. And he Knows everyting thats happening in my life now. I can't hide it from him. I just can't. Thank you Erik for listening to me and looking at me pour out my tears and rant. Thank you and Sorry. You could have spent those days doing other things.
Samantha and CO ( Passerby ), you guys should be happy now right? Don't worry. I'll keep up with the keeping distance with Kea, Shawn, Nate and Erik. I will. I saw what you guys did. And Yes, you got what u wanted. I'll leave soon anyway.
I am offered something from the school board today. I heard Erik initiated it. Only the school board, Erik and I know about it. Its a good offer. I can aviod everyone then right? I can stop hurting people then right? Yeah. I'll consider.
I've hurt you all.
RMK
SKJ
BYLM
NCAR
I am sorry. really.
"Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do"
Love,
Fany