TIFFANY ♥ STACE

Spread the love (L)

2010-02-13T04:11:00.000-08:00

Hello. (L)
Its been so so long since I've blogged.
So sorry! >.< We've all been busy. School's really out to torture students.
Hahaha. Anyways, I wonder how have everyone been.
For once I am online but all the people I want to talk to are not online. D:
Sigh. I guess everyone has reunion dinners to attend. Since its the Chinese New years.
Plus all my friends are off for their Korean Lunar New Year! 새해 복 많이 받으세요!!! :D

I realized no one tags. D: Its sad, ain't it. I don't feel the love. LOL.
I honestly don't know what to blog about. Uhmm...
I was suppose to go back to Korea to greet my Grandparents but well, my almighty parents are busy. With work. On New Years.
Grandmother must be so disappointed. But honestly, I am quite glad I don't have to go to greet them. Meeting Mother and Father is already torturing enough, I still have to listen to the whole " YuMi ahh, why did you choose to go to boarding school? Isn't school in Korea or LA good for you? Like this, your parents will be able to look after you. " speech from Grandmother. I love my Grandmother alright, but she should get to know her daughter more. Take care of me? Please. We meet at the most once evey 2 weeks when I was living in LA with them. Geez.

I am happy to celebrate New Years with everyone else here. :D Stacy hun had to go back to Korea to greet her relatives but she declined using Cello exams as excuse. She did this for me. =X Thank you so much dear. Cloe and Joyce too. Sometimes, I really thank God for girls like these. Mikey don't celebrate Lunar New Year so she... stays! Haha!

Ian oppa is somewhere around the globe with his family doing his greetings for Lunar New Year. Dum dum dum dum... Miss you lots! (L) I want to meet up again oppa! MAKE TIME! Tsk. D:

OHOHOH! Rainie & Brian, how are you guys over at Singapore. If you see this please tag alright? I am so sorry for not coming online for so long! >.< I feel so mean. Forgive me? ....please?

Shawn has been tutoring me french lit. Thank the high heavens for him! :D If not, I would have most probably gotten like a big fat F or something. Really thank you Shawn for being so patient with explaining everything to me. I am total fail at French. =X

Ok, abrupt? I know. But here comes pictures.

Tiffany. Stacy.

For some weird reason. I really like this picture.

Nicole sissy snipped off her hair!!

Me seeing Nicole for the first time after her hair became short.

This white dress is what I wore on Winter Formal.

-----------------------

You, can you please stop all the drinking?
All the fooling around?
It hurts. Me. Alot.
Do you understand no matter how things turn out you are like my support.
If the support falls, the person falls.
And I am falling.
ILY.

With lots of love,
Tiffany

Heart drenched in wine.

2009-12-31T03:55:00.000-08:00

Hello :D Its Tiffany here. Again, I know. >.<
You can't blame me since the other girls are so "occupied". Heehees. xP
Since I'd still like to consider it Christmas, wish y'all Merry Christmas!
There are 12 days of Christmas afterall. Hohoho!
How was everyone's Christmas? Mine was great since I was with my friends and all.

And there was the winter formal.
Would really like to post some of those pictures.... but... being a klutz the girls and I were in such hurry (since we were almost late) and we didn't manage to get any photos taken.
Sobs. T^T
If i manage to get any from my other friends I will post them up. :D

Christmas eve was alright, we had the winter formal.
And then we girls, had a heart to heart talk till really late.
(L) you all. No matter what troubles, we face them together.

For Christmas, the girls and I woke up extra early like at 6am to sneak to the guys' dorm to pass them their presents. Hahas.
But just as we've expected, they were dead asleep. Kind of drunk, maybe?
Ian oppa, the super light sleeper who was crashing at Shawn's room got woken up by our giggling. xP Sorry oppa!
Told Ian oppa to get back sleeping while we fussed around their room (tripping over Ian oppa several times, since he was kind of lying on the floor), trying to find somewhere to put the presents.
And we went over to Jonny and RMK's room and did the same.
Though this time it was so much easier since they slept like a log. It was hilarious. LOL.

After that, the girls gathered and got back to our room.
Girls, well meaning Stacy, Joyce, Cloe, Mikey and I.
And we prepared breakfast since we didn't feel like having breakfast at the cafeteria on Christmas.
Stacy started tossing us some salad, Cloe and Mikey were in charge of eggnog making and heating up some danishes and muffins.
Stacy was making some omelets and sausages.
Joyce and I were setting up the table and also Helped around with the eggnog and stuffs.
And walked over to wake the guys up for breakfast, since calling them seems useless.
After some 15 mins of knocking of doors, dragging people off beds, tickling people.
They, at last, wakes up. Washed up and Changed and met Joyce and I at their dorm lobby. Walked over to the girls' dormitory and started breakfast. :D

Okok, Pictures says a thousand words. So pictures of breakfast us girls made. Which is rare that ALL of us woke up to make breakfast. Since most of the time we wake up at different times with different class schedules.

Ok, Random picture of Stacy who walked off halfway during the omelet making to play us some Christmas songs.

First sandwich made that morning. Joyce made it. :D

Almost complete set of breakfast.
That is the girls'! :D

This is the almost complete set for the guys.
:D

We gobbled down breakfast while talking and singing Christmas songs randomly. LOL.
And we have our Miss Random of that morning, Miss Cloe Ahn. :D ( Was not surprised. LOL. )

And then we headed to meet some other classmates for Christmas parties they hosted.
Had loads of fun. Played Twister and had a great laugh at Mikey's really cute body movements.
Had lunch and continued playing games and such. Had this really cool Piano battle between Stacy and Elaine. And we exchanged presents. :D Jonny and co. played us some songs too.

After that, Stacy, Joyce, Mikey, Cloe, Jonny, Slimy, Ian, Shawn, Rmk and I went off and headed to our respective dorms to grab our coats and stuffs and met to go out. Which is really awesome. Since the school's so icky about us going out. But well, its Christmas. :D And all of us met up with our other friends, Samantha, Natalie and Rachelle.

Samantha & Rachelle. :D

Rachelle & Natalie.

A group of us crowding together to figure something out. Though I can't rmb what.

Thats Joyce. Crazy, ain't she? But I (L) her. :D

Okay, we did take somemore pictures for our Christmas outing , but I am kind of lazy to upload them since blogger can be pretty slow. :X
I'll save them for some other time.
LOL. >.<
Okok, So at night, like when we came back we had dinner outside.
Guys paid! :D Hehe.
Apparently its like a return favor for the breakfast.
Then after dinner, Joyce and Ian Oppa went off somewhere. :O
Mikey and Slimy too.
Jonny said he wanted to pass Cloe her present so he brought her somewhere.
Rachelle's boyfriend came to pick her up.
Samantha and Natalie had to leave for another party.
Leaving, Stacy, Shawn, Rmk and I.
So since we've nothing much to do, we walked around. Talked.
And then we went back to the school.
Shawn and Rmk walked Stacy and I back and they left.
When Stace and I got back to out rooms we decided to open some presents.
>.< Couldn't help it! :P
Sat down and started opening them after we got ourselves a cup of hot chocolate.
With marshmallows!!

Here are some presents I recieved. Not all since I haven't got approval from some friends if i can post it up.

Mother sent this Tiffany & Co. necklace over. This year with a card and it says, "Merry Christmas". Rare huh.

Father sent this Juicy Couture necklace. No card or call.

Super super super cute gift from Rachelle and Samantha.

Christmas cards!! >.< Love them. The red one was from Mikey. The blue one and the box of HANDMADE chocolate was from Cloe. :D

Pink roses. Left outside the room on Christmas morning.
Never stated who sent it. O.O Weird.

Make-up from Jonny.<3 ( Don't ask why this has a border. LOL. I started putting borders for my pictures and slowly it got tiring so i stopped. )

MAC make-up palette from Slimy! (L)

From Natalie. Thanks baby. :D

From Shawn. Thanks! Its really pretty. :D

Agnes b. necklace from Rmk. Thanks.

Dior cell phone accessory from Mikey. (L)

Jill Stuart gift set.

Content of Jill Stuart makeup gift set, Coffret D'or and Luna Sol Limited edition makeup from Cloe, Stacy and Joyce. (L)

Agnes b. charm bracelet from Ian Oppa. :D

Okay, am getting tired from the posting of photos. :X Gonna have an abrupt end here.
Ending off with a picture of Sissy and I.

Me & Nicole Sissy. :D

With Love and Regrets,
Tiffany

p.s, Wish y'all have a early fruitful and happy 2010!

Tears are words the heart can't say

2009-12-03T03:23:00.000-08:00

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Everytime we try to fix the pieces back, it never looks the same.
Sometimes I feel like running away from love like a child, scared, running from a clown.

Hello Everyone. (: Its Tiffany.

Felt like blogging. Rare, I know. Haha. Life's been alright. Skipping class for abit. =X
Shawn's ditching class with me whole of this week. Thank you!
Clo's been with Jonny for quite abit these days. I'm happy for her. Finding that one guy that cares so much. (:
Mikey's with Slimey as usual. No surprise here. LOL.
Joyce's with Ian. Oppa! You better treat her well. >.< Stacy's been hanging with me. <3 BFF. But well, she still has Piano, Violin etc. Glad all my friends have had what they'd always wanted. Last long hun(s). ♥

Joyce hun, regarding your post before mine... I don't know what to say. But baby, thank you. For being there for me. Through that day. That dreadful day i told myself to give up. You were with me, together with Stace, Clo, Mikey. You know, I love you to bits and pieces! >.<

Ian oppa, to your post on your blog. Thank you. For being so brotherly. For reprimanding me for stupid things I do, but always try to do it tenderly. For always giving me that awkward hug after sessions and sessions of telling me " I am not scolding you. But you have to be more selfish. ". But oppa, selfish, I am. I just don't be selfish when it comes to this, alrights? * hugs * Thank you oppa. Alot. Really.

I've never thought I was so weak as to give up.
For the better good of everyone's life, i give up.
I am sorry, I really am. For lying to myself and for lying to you.
I guess like how everyone sees us, we're simply star-crossed lovers with no means in our lifetime to be together.
Just remember what i told you that night, under the stars.
The promises we made.
Just remember that of me, and nothing else.
Though, i thank you, for being you.
I still am glad I know you.

Ending of the short post with a photo. (:

xoxo,
Tiffany

2009-11-25T03:06:00.000-08:00

Hi.

It's Joyce here.

Sometimes I just wonder..
If time would ever slow down it's pace, will I then be able to catch up?

Many things come and go,

Pass by,
and sometimes, when we don't hold on tight to the things we cherish with all our heart,
it will move on and leave you behind.
Hurt. Wounded. Unprotected.
But that's life.

That's why I've been telling her,
"Cherish what you have and live for yourself, for just this once."
Wasn't this the reason why we had ran away in the first place?
But you, it seems to be your nature that you sacrifice everything,
till you have nothing left.

I may sound as if I'm encouraging you to be selfish.
But that's how it goes to protect yourself from getting hurt all the time.

I understand, you feel you have interfered enough, it's time you should leave.
But that's not true. It's not. Because you didn't interfere with anything.
It just that you met the right person, at just the wrong time.

You feel as if you have disappointed a great friend.
I know, to have someone else that is close to you like the same person,
It's fucked up and wrong.
But do you think just by hiding all your true feelings, it can save everyone from misery?
No, it can't.
Because when you try to hide it the more I feel angry at myself.
I ask myself,
Why is it that you're protecting me from feeling sad when you are the one who needs all the protection?
Why do you have to put on that fake smile when you just don't feel like smiling?
Why is it that you have to be so protective against other people and not let your real emotions overwhelm you?
Why is it that you have to cover up all the wounds in your heart to protect the people you love?
Because that's not how it goes. It's just wrong to do that.

When facing the people you love, the people you trust, you are supposed to be real.
Because if you do that, that's not love.
That's just pretence.
Because you feel with your heart, and not your brain.
Not your brain that will slowly plan out and weigh out the rights and wrongs.
There's no right or wrong in love.

I'm telling this all to you because I love you.
I love you a lot, Tiffany.

You want everyone to just be ignorant and ignore how you feel.
You know its impossible because we all care.
We all do. I miss you. The real you.
The one that will cry at the slightest things.
The one who will cry at the smallest things.
The one who will cry when they watch a single part of a korean drama.
The one with tears.

I can remember,
When I was abandoned, alone and afraid,
You were the one.
You made me realise how great it felt to be loved and cherished by someone.
That I was actually of an importance.
That I actually was placed somewhere in your heart.
That I played a part in your life.
But it ended so early,
Too little to late.
You three-lettered bastard.

Neversaygoodbyebecauseyou'retheonlyoneforme.

2009-11-25T00:52:00.000-08:00

If my little incident with K. has made anyone upset, i will tell everyone here and now.

I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH RMK.

If I have made anyone upset, I will repeat this again, DO NOT love RMK.
Anything that I have said anytime before, pls don't take it to account.
Sorry if anyone is deeply upset over this.

Sry. To you.

Away,
Tiffany

I am the walrus.

2009-11-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

Hello. (L)

Cloe here! I think I am going to audition for a musical :D Tiffany, Stacy, Joyce, Mikey and Ian, Jonny and Kea are all rooting for me! Thank you! (L)

Well anyway, I think I'm going to get a new snail. (: Because Casey, my first snail, is sick I think. She's going to pass away soon. Sighh. She won a lot of races for me too. I don't want another case like Nathan. ): We all miss him a lot and nothing will ever be the same without him.

Jonny's going to take me Christmas shopping! (L)oves. I want to get a new manicure on the way too. This pink is too pale for me. (: If I can get a picture, I'll try and post it here. The air here is very awkward. Ian and Joyce are acting really cute! (: And something else happened with Tiffany, but I don't think I should post it here. Oh, something happened with Kea too. I wonder what?

I don't know what else to type. Thank you for reading this random post. :D

xoxo,
Cloe.

P.S. You are going to be sooo happy! T+K=4EVA

2009-11-24T05:43:00.000-08:00

Hey (:
Ian blogging here.
It's amazing how I'm not blogging on my own blog but on Tiffany's blog.
I guess it's because blogger auto-logged this email in. (I'm using Tiffany's PINK laptop)
And how I'm so very lazy to log into my account.
Yes,
How have you guys in Singapore been?
It's quite great here, though I'm not actually staying with the girls.
I'm staying at my dad's investment property.
It's not really for permanent stay, so I'll have to move out in a few weeks. O:

I've been catching up with the girls and guys.

Tiffany definitely grew taller.
She'll be very smug when she reads this post.
And she's back from the bathroom, right beside me.
She's looking right at the line.
She smiled and walked away.
Stupid girl (:

Okay, yes.
And you have no idea what torture had they brought me through.
Shopping after shopping after shopping.
Stacy even tried to convince me that manicures can help me dance and basketball better.
You have no idea, seriously.

Cloe's been showing me her collection of snails.
It's quite amazing how a girl can actually touch it and care for it, and not be afraid or threatened by it.
And actually, snail racing wasn't as lame as I expected to be.
As a matter of fact, it's entertaining.

Talked to the guys the other day.
We talked the whole night away.
Then I realised how much I've been missing out on while I was in Singapore.

I should come here more often.
It's great to be able to drink and fool around with people you know since forever. (I sound like Tiffany, it's weird)

It's been quite an enjoyable trip.
I don't even feel like going back home. (:
I'll show you guys a few photos, of obviously, me.
This blog has never had the face of IANCOUTURE.
So I will bombard this place with my face.

Look behind the good-looking guy to find Tiffany being vain infront of the camera.

And Joyce. Look at how bored she is.
Obviously, I was bored too.
Looking at Mikey, Tiffany and Cloe change clothes to and fro, for around 4000 times isn't anyone's idea of "fun" or "entertaining".

Oh, and since you guys have been so awesome, I'm gonna dig out all the ugly photos of the girls from this computer and post it. You guys are in for a feast :D:D:D
(They are going to screw me all over, but it's okay, for the entertainment of this, I will sacrifice myself for your entertainment)
Thank me, thank me. :D

HAHAHAHA. TIFFANY'S FOREHEAD :D:D:D
It's amazing how it's pimple-free, I guess how she always goes around putting on her facial mask at 12midnight isn't all for nothing.
I think she'll kill me for seeing this on the blog.
But TIFFANY! You can't delete this okay ):
She's actually quite cute la, right? *laughs to myself*

Can you guys guess who is this?
No?
Me neither.
I didn't really know who was it until I saw the name of this photo.
Yes, It's Joyce.
So fierce for what?
Did Cloe's snail eat your eyeliner or something?
*HAHAHA*

And finally this one, the award winning piece.
Joyce.
Whatthefuck were you doing at my house?
I didn't even know this was shot.
O:
But, she still looks retarded (:
Yes, HAHAHAHA.
Okay.
Nice handphone strap by the way.

And cool eyes. *HAHAHAHAHA*

Okay, I'm lazy to find the others and upload them on blogger that's currently being a bastard.
I should go now.
Have as much fun as I had laughing at the photos.
Okay, I shall do a closure similar to the girls.

xoxo,
Gossip girl (Ian Couture).

No matter what happens,
Even when the sky's falling down,
I'll promise you,
that I'll never let you go.
-Bom,

It's been quite awkward around you.
Sometimes I just wish nothing happened between us, you know.
How we just to joke around with one another.
Laugh at our stupidity.
I miss that.
~~I miss you.~~

Words hard to say.

2009-10-25T03:24:00.000-07:00

Hello Earthlings (!)
Decided to blog after much contemplating, since I am kinda lazy and had alot going on for me.
Btw, this is Tiffany. (:
Dying with flu here since its fall. Temperature is falling below 17 degrees.
Drowning myself with Tylenol. Hahas.
Ok, I really don't know what to post. T^T

Uhmm, Recently Joyce, Cloe and I are just really lazing around and trying to pack our stuffs.
Haven't been able to pack our shopping loot into our bags. ): Too many. =X
Girls are going back to Switzerland soon.
We're probably going to send our stuffs back first and hop on the plane bags free.
Haha~

Anyways, I've been reflecting recently and I came to realise many things.
From friendship, love and family I've gave myself the credit of reflecting about these issues and alot of times I get lost in these thoughts and get really out of it throughout the day. So here, I want to apologise Joyce, Cloe, Alice and everyone who had to snap me back to Earth when my mind was wondering off by itself. 미안합니다!! >.<

I've read certain blogs deligently these days and seems like alot has been going on between my friends. And honestly, I am really upset by it. I don't want to put these name anonymously so I am just going to type out names. Jonny, Kea and Rainie, I have read all of your blog posts.

Jonny, the post you posted was really well... you. Before anything, I really thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and sparing the time of the day to think about my emotions. Thank you really. Though, you always seem so nonchalant about everything, you always put everyone else before you. Thank you for that Jonny. Really.

Kea, from what I heard from you just the other day you seem to have some problems with her. I know you are upset and pissed off but I hope, my only hope, is that you try not to hurt her. Really Kea, you are one of the nicest guy I've ever knew and I have never seen you dislike a girl to that extend but I know you are trying your best to keep it in and I thank you for that. On a side note, Thank you for accompanying me that day. Well, since there was a thunderstorm, I was so thankful there was someone there. Even though there were awkwardness sometimes that I've never had with you before till now, I am grateful you were there.

Rainie, I don't blame you for that post. That post that you deleted. So don't read too much into it. Honey, you are my best friend so I've got to be honest with you right? If you don't like listening to me being honest, I am sorry but I am doing this because I take you as a friend. Sometimes you said people around you change, but really honey, do you know why they do so? Think back about those times where you spent practically the whole day talking about yourself. To us girls, it not that pouring out your feelings is bad but please also spare a thought for others and try to act a little more concern verbally sometimes. I cannot deny that I do get upset over you sometimes but ultimately you are my friend, my good friend at that. So I am being honest. Just like some of the things Jonny has said to you over the blog post. I honestly do agree with some. I am sorry, honey. Really sorry for being so blunt. This is the first time I've criticised anyone in my entire life. And I never knew it would be you. Though, this will also be the last time I am going to criticise you in any way. Sorry and ILY Rainie. On a lighter note, I'm posting some pictures. ^^
Joyce and Tiffany.
I kind of stole the fedora from Cloe. =X
We were at some public toilet in one of the tourist attraction.

Tiffany and Stacy.
I realised I have never shown anyone Stace's picture after she had her haircut.
I think she looks really pretty with short hair.
And she stole my contacts! :O
Anyways, this picture is for Stacy hun.
STACY KWON! I STILL RMB YOU, HUN~!
I MISS YOU TO THE CORE OF THE PLANET!

Got this is my inbox yesterday and I was really touched~!
This was sent by my super duper lovely Dance Crew!
I MISS YOU GUYS TOO~!
Continue working hard until I'm back okay?

Hideous picture to end the post. :P

PS, I love Girls' Generation.
( Sorry for the randomness, am watching Factory Girl. )

With love & regrets,
Tiffany

Falling to pieces.

2009-09-26T23:39:00.000-07:00

No matter how natural I'm acting.

Imissyoualot.

Nathan, I love you. We all love you. You can't come back.

I know it.

But it doesn't mean that it hurts any less.

My final goodbye. I hope you're reading this, Nathan.

xoxo,
Cloe.

Nicole 언니 is here.

2009-09-20T00:37:00.000-07:00

Hello.
Nicole 언니 just flew to Paris a few days back and is now crashing over at Alice's house with us girls. Sorry to all that I won't be able to come online for awhile as my 언니 is really trying to tie me next to her. I mean she drags Joyce, Cloe and I to shop and everything all the time. And she seems to have somehow thought that I am not myself and is acting all weird around me. She is threatening to have Terrence 오빠 fly over to get me checked. ==" Bahh. If 오빠 was here, he'll probably kill me for clubbing. Having 언니 here is already really really really scary. Somehow, Joyce and Cloe are really enjoying her company. How weird. LOL.

Okayokay, just a short post here and I shall end this. (:

PS, Ian 오빠, 난 정말 당신이 그리워!!!!

OMGOMGOMG, I forgot to tell you guys, 언니 = Elder sister, 오빠 = Elder brother. In girls' context.

kthxbai,
Tiffany

Gone.

2009-09-09T04:44:00.000-07:00

I heard you were gone. Gone. Forever. Gone to a place i can't go to by foot. by plane. by boat. by anything. Gone. Away from me.

I heard that you were gone and all I remember after that is " Nate's gone, Tiff. He's gone. " It replayed in my head like a spoiled tape. And then I started laughing, telling you not to play such a joke on me. Its not even April.

I started calling your number. Calling your family. Calling everyone who knows you. Emailing you like there's no tomorrow. Left you voice messages. Tried to leave you offline messages. Telling myself you are not gone. You can't be.

Then it started to sink in, when your phone was cut off. You family had no time to pick up the phone and i kept getting voice message. When every single second I refreshed my email, I don't see your reply. Voice messages seems useless. Offline messages not replied. Then tears fell.

Even now, I stay in the corner of my room. Looking through our scrapbook and I see your goofy smile and thought " Nate here. He's not gone. He can't be gone. " I took the thousand stars i folded and wished for you to come back to me, and I waited and waited and nothing happened. And I smashed it to pieces. I rummaged through my wardrobe and found your shirt, and I hugged it to sleep. Telling myself tomorrow morning, I'll wake up and hear your countless voice messages telling me that you want me back by your side and reminding me to take care of myself.

I took my textbooks, storybooks and notebooks that you scribbled on. Those funny pictures you drew to keep me awake in class. Those little footnotes you wrote for me to understand better. I flipped through these books and felt a pain in my chest when I realise you're never going to be able to do this for me anymore.

I took those countless gifts you got for me for every little thing I did well. From exams to little homeworks. From dance competitions to my first Winter Formal. And lay on the floor, crying when I remember every occasion I spent with you since grade school. And how you tucked me in to bed with the rest of the guys when I had trouble with being alone in the dark.

You were my silent protector in everyway possible. Looking over me like my big brother. Keeping me under your care and concern. Letting me off with every single thing I did to hurt you. Showering me with love and care I missed out from my family.

Even now, I look around my room filled with your gifts, your voice messages on repeat, the broken glass that was once filled with stars and hope, the clothes I stole from your closet and I tell myself. " Nathan is not gone. He can't be. He told me he'll protect me forever. He told me he'll be with me through Prom, through my first job celebration, through seeing and approving of my future husband, through my wedding, through my first child, through my growing old. Through my whole life. You told me you'll hold my hand through think and thin. So you won't be gone. You can't be gone. "

I don't believe it. Nate is not gone. He's not.

ILY Nathan.

Gone,
Tiffany

Tear stained face

2009-08-16T04:13:00.000-07:00

Tiffany here. (:
I guess I got to revive this blog a little. Cloe is here with us! Yay! :P
I've got to say i miss everyone so so much! Stace, Mikey hope u havent forgotten us. ):
Paris is great. Okay, fine. Shopping is great too.
We've gotten a great deal of clothes. :O Cloe's picking up too!! All those eccentric things she manages to find.
I've been meaning to ask if she is missing snail racing.... hmmm... I'll ask her tonight!

We've been staying at Alice's house these few weeks. Its convenient. Plus, it has a.... swimming pool! Wheeeeee~!
Joyce loves it! I just know it! Weather's been great.All those bikinis we were hunting at the shopping mall the other day, great fun. There are like a few pictures i took of Alice's house when we drove in. So its probably somewhere in this post. Blogger hates me. ): I gotta use Joyce's lappie to upload them. So Joyce dear is gonna help me! <3

Oh! Right. We've been clubbing this few days. I just go there to drink though. Joyce too. Cloe just... dances a lot. LOL. But Joyce and I gotta keep a look out for her in case you know... :O Almost every aussie guy that comes in ( that's alot ) comes to ask for Joyce's number.(She denies it.) ==" Hehe. But she declines, like a lady. Cloe too has gotten quite a few wolf whistles. Wow. They are safe though. *don'tworryIan* cough, cough. They've got me to protect them! Mwahahah. I am manly! Wheeeeeee~!
Joyce: Hey! Updating the blog? Hmm, let me see.. Oh. TIFFANY HAS THIS HOT TALL DARK AND HANDSOME AUSTRALIAN GUY AFTER HER. I SWEAR HE'S FUCKING CUTE. He has a cute sun burn. Heeheee. Bye.

Ignore Joyce.

Nicole ( sister ), might be coming down to look for me. The thing is see, she needs a shopping break from NYCU. Gahh, smart ppl. ): Ohoh, and Terrence ( brother ) might be joining us too! How nice of him to get his butt off SoCal.

And guys, I re-read The Twilight Saga. Edward is... definitely a guy that you can't find on this planet. So, unreal. Too sweet as a guy. He has UNDYING LOVE for Bella. :O Tell me, how many guys can do that? Raise up your hand! Okay, I might want to add that he is Hawt. =X Robert Pattinson is alright looking. But i like his voice though. I like EMMETT CULLEN! Btw, i mean the fictional guy. Not the movie guy. Although he is good looking. Nono, wait. My favourite guy character,CARLISLE CULLEN. Weird I know, but I am Team Carlisle. Girl wise... Alice Cullen! Okok, i must be boring with Twilight. * Wan! Don't get angry k? *

Looking back on everything,
I still remember his smile.
I wish things didn't end so soon,
And turn back time for awhile.

No matter how much it hurts,
I still love him so.
A part of me needs him so much,
Can't seem to let him go.

Knowing I won't be able to see him,
Makes my heart cry out in pain.
I can't believe we won't talk anymore,
The thought makes me wanna go insane.

He was my reason for waking up,
For the smile you see on my face.
Going a single day without him,
Makes me feel so out of place.

I was afraid of opening up,
Now I'm afraid of the next day.
Whenever I see him one last time,
I'm terrified of what he may say.

I know tomorrow will hurt,
But the tears will fade away.
Life is too short for regrets,
There will be a brighter day.

But when I see him one last time,
I won't know what to do...
When he tells me that last goodbye,
I'll whisper,"I already miss you.."

Girls, we'll meet soon. We promise.

Yes, we do. (:

Look at the beautiful macaroons. I like the pink one, obviously.

And this, is our residence. There's a swimming pool and all.
I love it here.

xoxo,
Tiffany& a little Joyce.

I love/hate you.

2009-07-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

Love makes us act like we are fools.-Moulin Rouge

Remember the rose you gave me on Valentine's Day?

Remember the leather jacket you lent me when I was cold?

Remember you bought me the gold wallet I wanted so very much?

Remember the outfit I wore for our anniversary?

All of those things might have been trivial, but there's one more thing that's important, and you seem to have forgotten it as well.

Remember that I love you?

It seems the answer is no, and this is why I decided to end it.

It hurts too much to even spare a second for this feeling of hurt, that the world is crashing down onto my shoulders and I can't take the weight alone.

Alex, you're supposed to be my pillar. My saviour. My hero. But when I fell back, you weren't there to catch me. When I struggled to take the weight alone, you didn't help me.

And no matter what I say about loving you, truth be told I hate you too. Because you made me feel special, and I really thought you loved me. I hate you for that, and I hate you because I still love you and I can't seem to stop.

Tiffany, Joyce, I really need to be with you girls and talk things out. I bought a ticket to France already, and I'll see you soon, and I'll look for you guys. It won't be hard to find you.

I've already been through the hardest.

Hurry on back!

2009-07-15T05:29:00.000-07:00

I love flowers!

Alright, well, I think this blog needs to be cheered up! Tiffany, Joyce, come back soon luvs.. Agreed? Ian is out of his mind with worry! Actually, everyone is!

Hurry on back, guys... Snail racing isn't the same without you guys calling me weird!

-Cloe.

2009-07-10T06:34:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone.
Its been sometime since I have blogged and update anyone about Joyce and my whereabouts. Just to reasure you all if you guys wanna know, we are safe. (: I don't really regret this trip. I mean Joyce and I really did gave our lives a thought and also thought about what we should do about facing everyone else.

Well i guess enough of all those sappy thingys. :P I don't wanna bring more misery to everyone with my sappy "sad" life.

Paris is a great place. Joyce and I barely remember what has happened when we went there quite a few years back. We did what all tourists do this time. Toured in tour busses with the French speaking so fast like a bullet that we can't understand, Took photos of pratically everything, tried all the delicious food here and bought so much while shopping our hands are all filled with bags. :P

I tied up my hair~ ^ Pretty Joyce!

Fruit Cups~ Breakfast!

Got this cookie and Ice cream thingy from a street vendor!

Banitos!~

Blogger is really slow due to my connection so I sha't post so many picture. D: But I'll post more when I can~ Ciao!

No one cares. No one.
Even those whom I thought did care.
They don't. (':

" Ask me how many times my heart has been broken and I will tell you to look in the sky and count the stars. "

xoxo
Tiffany

Birthday Wishes

2009-07-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

To RMK:

Happy birthday.
And may your relationahip with her go smoothly. (:
Stay happy.
We've always celebrated our birthday together, but this year we can't but I do hope that on this happy day you will celebrate it with a special person like her and be happy. (:
ILY.

To Brian:

Happy Birthday.
Even though I haven't known you for very long. I am thankful for knowing you. (:
Thank you for always being there.
Hope that you stay happy.
And I wish you all the best for everything.
ILY.

With Love,
Tiffany

Paris Getaway

2009-07-01T05:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry to all who have tried to call and contact Joyce and I but to no avail. We just need some time alone to think through our lives and what we have been doing and what we should do from here on. Currently, we are in Paris and have settled down in a hotel. Please do not worry, we will be fine. Trust us to stay safe even though we are girls. We will stay safe so no worries.

We are not sure if we will be staying in Paris for long as all the guys are here. We might shift somewhere else. Its not confirmed though. Sorry. Again.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

To Nicole Big Sis,
I am very sorry. Extremely sorry to make you help me sign the form for me to leave school without letting mother and father know. Thank you for helping me uncondtionaly and not questioning any further to trust me to take care of myself. ILY Nicole Kim Yuri.

To Jessica little Sis,
Honey i am very sorry for not telling you where I am to go and also making you worry for me. Girl, just know and trust your Fany sissy in taking care of herself alrights. You take care too alright? ILY Jessica Kim Yuki.

To Terrence older bro,
I am sorry to have caused you to be worried about me when you heard from Jess sissy that I am out from school for awhile. I am sorry for making you promise not tell mother and father about this. But thank you as well for always believing that I can take care of myelf. ILY Terrence Kim JunHo.

To Stacy,
Love, i am so extremely sorry for leaving without a word. Leaving you worried as you are. I am sorry. You have always been to " Omma " ( mother ) of us girls but I will have to take care of myself some time in the future right? I will behave myself and also will take care. ILY Stacy Kwon.

To Cloe,
Honey, don't lose your laugter because of my departure, but keep smiling to await my return alright? You have always told me to live for myself some times and I will for this trip away from you girls. But do know that Joyce and I love you girls alot. ILY Cloe Ahn.

To Mikey,
Girl, Don't think of it as i am leaving forever. I have heard those countless voice msges with you crying to ask where I am. I heard them. But love, I wanna hear your laughter again. I will be back with you girls again. However, i just need time to think through things alright. ILY Danielle Mikey James.

To Ian,
Sorry for having you so worried about our disappearence. I am sorry. So very sorry. I am. I will take care of Joyce for you. Its the least I can do. Do take care of yourself too alright? Remember the promise I ask you for? I will be there when you need me. So please just forgive me this once. I really need to take a break. Sorry and ILY Ian Couture.

To Nathan,
Nate, I am sorry. Through the countless times i have said sorry and you forgiving me, I really don't wish for you forgiving me again. But I am sorry to have left without telling you. I have always lived under the protection of you, rmk, Jonny, Ian and everyone else. So I have to take care of myself for once. ILY Nathan.

To RMK,
Sorry. I don't know if you still do care. But sincerely I am sorry. For every single thing I have done to come inbetween you and her. ILY RMK. ( Rainie, don't take it wrong alright? Its as a friend :D )

To Brian,
I am sorry to not have told you anything about me leaving. I am sorry. Very. But I know you will understand. Won't you? I will come online when I feel like I can start facing everyone else. I am sorry. Very very sorry. ILY Brian.

To Rainie,
Don't worry about me. I am fine. (: Take care. And again, I have to say sorry for not telling you about me leaving despite the promise. I just don't have to courage to face you and him. I am sorry. ILY Rainie.

To Erik,
Sorry for not answering those calls you have made. I am sorry Erik. I really am. I am causing you too must trouble and worry than you should have. I need to get myself back and not cause you more problems than you already have. Trust me for I will return back and meet you by the lake. ILY Erik.

To Yiting, Kim, Wan, Meow and all who have been trying to call me. I am sorry for not accpeting these calls. But I do miss you all and love you guys too. ILY.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

You don't care anymore, do you?
But if you are happy, I am too. ILY.

With Love,
Tiffany

Farewell for now.

2009-06-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

M.I.A

Fany needs to clear her mind.

Bye all.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Love,

Tiffany

2009-06-28T04:21:00.000-07:00

Catch me when i fall - Ashlee Simpson

Is anybody out there?
Does anybody see?
That when the lights are off some thing's killing me.
I know it seems like people care,
Cause they're always around me.
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's so hard to face going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
Sometimes lonelinessis just a part of me

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall
Who's gonna catch me when I fall
Who's gonna catch me when I fall
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Looking back. Again.
Why do I keep looking back?
I realise my world was and will only be complete with you.
Why did I realise this late?
I wished you were here.
Why didn't I treasure you when you were here?
I wanted us to become forever.
Forever does not exist anymore, does it?
All those times we had together without anyone else, Just us.
No more "Just us" right?
Those days we stare at the stars together for hours.
Stars? I hate them cause I am looking at the same ones as you, but without you.
Those days where my mornings are always filled with trying to wake you up.
No more waking you up, no? I wake up, staring at the ceiling.
Those nights where I dragged you , drunk, back to bed.
I don't have to rights to anymore right?

Those days you were my only shoulder to lean on.
I have no one to lean onto anymore. I struggle to stand straight, by myself.
Those days where you piggy-backed me when i simply felt tired walking.
Piggy-backs? No more.
Those nights you stayed up late just to help me with work.
I do everything alone now.
Those nights where you tucked me to bed and stayed with me until I fell asleep.
I get myself onto the bed and cry myself to sleep.

Those days, where you still cared.
You care for her now. And thats great.

When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most.

With love,
Tiffany

"I hate the stars because I look at the same ones as you do, without you"

2009-06-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

Tiffany here. Its been sometime since I blogged ehh? Seems like Stace, Mikey and Cloe are keeping the blog alive. (: I wonder if people read my posts. But well, I just want to pen down things that have happened and my thoughts. I've been busy these days. But I am enjoying this busy feeling. Not enough time to use for thinking all those stupid things.

Btw, did i tell you guys I am blogging with my lappie next to the lake. How I love this place. Almost no one ever comes here. And that's great at that. I like practicing Ballet here. (: Every time I want to shout out load about how I am great and happy, words just remind stuck. I'll try, one day, i will stand proud shouting and telling the world I am happy. Alone.

Even though Erik made things turn weird. And all the guys left. But he still sticks by me no matter what. Its nice of him. But its difficult to accept his feelings. I just cant. He is a nice guy. He can find a nicer girl. Brian too. He is a nice guy. He can find a nicer girl. Shawn too. Nate too. All nice people. Always so ready to give in to me. Always being there. Thank you guys. ILY.
And he, already has a nice girl. (':

I am sorry, Erik. I really am. I'll try to forget him. No, I WILL forget him. But whether I can accept another? I cant be sure. I am sorry Shawn. I am sorry Nathan. I am sorry Brian. I am sorry everyone. I am sorry Rainie. I am sorry. Very, very sorry.

Well, I am gonna be happy. But this is tiring. Very. But its fine. Its for the sake of the two of them. (: If they are happy together, I am happy. Lets post some happy things. I love the little children I am looking after. They are super cute! I want children like that if I ever have children!

This is EunMi. Coincidentally she is my mother's friend's daughter! And she is under my care. She's a really sweet girl. She saw me cry the other day. * how embarrassing * And she came up to me and offered to "teach the person that made me cry a lesson ". LOL. Obviously i told Eunmi I am fine and that sometimes in certain situations, leaving it to be might be a good choice.

This is Adriel. I took this picture this morning when i brought him to the stables for his horse riding class. He was so reluctant this morning! But after he finished that class he told me " Big sister Fany!! I wamma ( he cant say wanna :O ) ride the horse tomowwow ( he cant saw tomorrow too. :O ). " He's such a cutie pie. xD Every morning when I go find his to bring him to class he always goes " Big sister Fany! Imma gib ya a pink candy! ". Sweet ain't he? :D

Okay there is no other way I can contact you so I hope you still read this blog. Rmk, Eunmi and Adriel are looking for you. They told me to tell you they miss their " Pappi ". Do call them. They miss you.

I need to thank my besties who never fail to stand up for me.
Mikey, Cloe, Stacy, Joyce.

Thank you Stace for looking after me even though i am supposed to be the oldest.
Thank you Stace for always being there when I need help with anything.
Thank you Stace for being like the other me ever since we were babies.
Thank you Stace for keeping a clear head no matter what we are about to face.
Thank you Stace, for being who you are.

Thank you Mikey for the hug every morning to reassure me I still am here with you guys.
Thank you Mikey for those movie trips you always make us go to, to make me not think so much.
Thank you Mikey for those motivating msges you sent to me before every class.
Thank you Mikey for always trying to drag me out of my room to go out for a walk.
Thank you Mikey, for being who you are.

Thank you Cloe for always being the energy bunny amongst us.
Thank you Cloe for always asking me out to watch your games.
Thank you Cloe for those little gifts, be it a smiley sticker to new clothes.
Thank you Cloe for asking out to race snails and laughing our heads off.
Thank you Cloe, for being who you are.

Thank you Joyce for the long distance calls to make sure I am alright.
Thank you Joyce for always counting me in to anything you've planned.
Thank you Joyce for always giving me words of affirmation.
Thank you Joyce for those spa sessions where we could talk about anything under the sun.
Thank you Joyce, for being who you are.

And definitely I have to thank Ian, Jonny, Bobbi, Mitsu, Shawn, Nate, Brian, Yiting, Kim, Meow, Rainie.

----------------------

Ian, nothing needs to be said between us right?
You know I have got your back.
I will be here no matter what.
If you are tired you know Tiffany will always let you put down that mask and let out out feelings.
I read your blog Ian. You are just like a older brother to me.
So please, promise me you let me be there for you?
I wont ask you to promise to cheer up, promise to be happy.
All I need is a promise to let me be there for you.
ILY Ian.

-----------------------

Can I just keep you in the corner of my heart and tell everyone you are gone from my heart?
I don't know;
Can I put on this smile and walk forward with everyone else?
I don't know;
Can I still accept another to replace what you are to me?
I don't know;
Can I still be who I was?
I don't know;

Looking at those pretty little gifts you bought;
Looking at the pink bedspread that you said you hated but have always lied on;
Looking at the childhood pictures that were filled to the brim with memories;
Looking at the window you always climbed out from;
Looking at the little straw hearts you gave me everytime I did well for something, ever since I was 5;
Looking at my first ballet flats that you bought for me;

Looking at the past and not moving forward.

"Sometimes you dont realize how much you care for someone until they stop caring for you."

xoxo,
Tiffany

Days filled with laughter are No More.

2009-06-21T05:18:00.000-07:00

Okay. Stacy here. Obviously.
Exams have ended awhile ago. Isn't that great? (:
And dreadfully our results were released. Shyt.
We scored fairly well. OBVIOUSLY. Hah! Okay, nvm.
Before I start rambling on about how I am starting to hate some ppl, I should totally tell you guys our results. Ohhh, Yes i am. No matter how much you are gonna stop me, CLOE. :O

Stacy Results ( Its pretty BLUE )

English : 80/100 Gahh! D:
Calculus: 68/100 Its considered good in my books!
Biology: 81/100
Chemistry: 70/100
Physics: 78/100
Chinese: 71/100
Korean: 84/100
Spanish: 52/100 Shyt!
Spanish Literature: 49/100 Shyt x2
History: 75/100
Environmental Systems: 90/100
Performing Arts: Grade A
Physical Ed: Grade C
Extra curriculum ( Cello, Drumming, Piano, Violin ): Grade A

--------------------------------

Tiffany's Results

English: 82/100
Calculus: 69/100
Biology: 79/100
Chemistry: 76/100
Physics: 73/100
Chinese: 70/100
Korean: 90/100
French: 53/100
French Literature: 72/100 Tiff says " Thank you "
History: 86/100
Business & Management: 78/100
Music: Grade B
Physical Ed: Grade B
Extra Curriculum ( Ballet, Hip hop + Street Jazz, Choir ): Grade A

-------------------------------

Cloe's Results

English: 87/100
Calculus: 63/100
Biology: 76/100
Chemistry: 73/100
Physics: 71/100
Chinese: 52/100
Korean: 77/100
German: 80/100
French Literature: 48/100 Cloe says " Well, no one was teaching me! "
Geography: 68/100
Environmental Systems: 72/100
Visual Art: Grade B
Physical Ed: Grade A
Extra Curriculum ( Soccer, Hockey, Horse Riding, Ice Skating ): Grade A

------------------------------

Mikey's Results

English: 71/100
Calculus: 79/100
Biology: 68/100
Chemistry: 80/100
Physics: 71/100
Korean: 57/100 Mikey says " Thank you Fany, Stace, Cloe for the late night tutoring! "
French: 91/100
French Literature: 77/100
Geography: 69/100
Economics: 66/100
Music: Grade B
Physical Ed: Grade B
Extra Curriculum ( Baseball, Hockey, Soccer, Martial Arts ) : Grade A

Okay. So these are our results. Its alright. My parents are happy about it. Well, THEY BETTER BE. Hah! I studied alright. So did the girls. Seeing our test papers reminds me how we took our exams with the guys and also studied together with them. Brings back memories. How our late night sessions always ends with only Fany and Rmk studying French Lit together. With the rest of us knocked out and sleeping with books on our faces.

Surprisingly, I passed Spanish. :O No Kidding yo. I was lyke " OMGAHH. " Hah! And Fany passed French Lit. You must feel really proud of her huh. Cloe passed Chinese! Thats like a MIRACLE yo. And we are most definitely MOSTMOSTMOST proud of Mikey! She passed..... KOREAN! * dancing around and around with the girls *

Enough of exams. Brings the mood down. ): Wells, I tell ya I am very worried about the girls yo. I am always like " Mummy " out of the 4 girls. And the never ending worries is just part of me. Fany is just being overly happy and hyper. She crams more classes. more extra curriculum. more dance practices. She even volunteered to teach the little kids at the Junior Campus. She is just in denial just like what Mikey says. Trying to tire herself so she doesn't think about things. Though it seems like its not working very well. And why so I say so? She is always crying when she is alone. In front of Mikey, Cloe and I, She tries to put on that smile for us. Not gonna work FanyLove. D:

As for Mikey and Cloe, I am just worried they burst and do something in protection of Fany. I don't blame them for wanting to do or say certain things to certain people, cause I want to too. But this is just not rational. Henceforth not a good thing to do. Mikey, Cloe and I share the same thoughts about the same people. We want to just scream straight at some people's face and tell them to stop trying to act miserable and not thinking of Fany's feelings. All they knows, is how the world revolves around them. Insensitive much?

Oh Jesus, Nevermind. I am gonna channel my stress to doing YOGA. Going to find the girls now to do Yoga. Mikey is extremely inacceptive of Yoga. ): I am gonna make them Yoga with me! Hmph. YOGA IS ♥. My new HOBBY.

Okay. I dont want to continue ranting. So, Annyeonghygasaeyo. BaiBai.

With the love as large as an elephant,
Stacy♥

2009-06-18T01:51:00.000-07:00

Bonjour outside people. First time blogging on Tiffany's blogger but it is ours now ^_^ If you people do not know who this is, I will stab you to death =D I really hate school nowadays because there is so much going on and I cannot concentrate one bit. I kind of dread going online too because I do not want to see certain people as their attitudes really makes me really angry.

On a brighter note, Tiffany has more smiles these days ^_^! BUT! Those smiles do not seem genuine )= I am guessing that she is slipping into a very important stage of love called "Denial". =O! Stace, Cloe and I are really worried about her and it is all "their" fault. I wished that the both of them never met her, they have caused so much heart ache for Tiffie. Damn you =O

On the brightest note, Jonny's going to get a lot of CLOTHES for the four of us! ^_^ And I shall depict their reactions towards Jonny's "kindness".
ME: I never knew Jonny was so nice! =O *Size 2*
CLOE: HO MY GOSH HO MY GOSH! *Squeals and rolls around* Size 2 please! :D
STACE: Wow, thank you so much, Jon. *Grins* Size 2 too.
TIFFY: *Nods and smiles* Tell Jonny that I said thank you. *Size 2*
And I told Jonny the sizes, even Tiffany's ^_^
I am also getting Jonny's Avenged Sevenfold teeshirt! =O! Merci.

I had his classes today and he acted like nothing has happened. Also, I feel that he is being way too nice towards Tiffany and making the other person look like an unconcerned freak. On the other hand, Slimey's being really weird, maybe he's pregnant =O! Damn~

Pay close attention to his tummy! =O He also has menopause! =O! I think he is probably just depressed about this situation. What a sweet guy. *Barfs*

To Cloe:
Hey you mad, mad girl.
We shall stick together no matter what happens from here! =D!
Let's catch snails and slugs together and race them.
After that, we can put them into Slimey's clothes ^_^!
I love you tons my hyper bunny! =D

To Stace:
Hey you, indescribable-stoic-yet-hyper-girl *-*
Thank you for being so rational throughout this entire situation!
What will we do without you? Huh huh?!?!
You are like the tree trunk in winter.
But I still love you, our personal tree trunk.

To Tiffy:
HELLO our lovely Tiffany, please do smile more. ^_^
And the 4 of us, including that Slimey will cheer you up =O
I miss the old you, sweetheart =O!
And I am going to get it back! =D Okay, Tiffy? Okay, good.
So Tiffany, do not let them get to you.
You have not caused any harm, do not worry.
Stop making yourself the villain in this "fairytale" when in actual facts, they are the ones.
I love you tons, a'ights? =D! I am always here for you. ^_^

Lastly, please do not try to be the knight in shining armour for Tiffany when you are just a worm wrapped in... Ehm, tissue paper. Yeah, that is correct. ^_^ Leave her alone, merci beaucoup. Au Revoir outside people! Bye!

Picking up the pieces left of me.

2009-06-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

Memories replaying in my mind like a black and white movie;
Sentences replaying in my mind like an old broken record;
Every photo, every letter reminds me of days back then;
Every old voice message, every old message saved on my phone reminds me of your presence; Every step I take reminds me of the long walks we've taken;
Every old piece of paper you scribbled on reminds me of countless days you stayed up for me, helping me with work.
Every song you played for me, every song you sang for me is my lullaby;

You always let me tease you, poke fun at you and never once did you get mad at me;

You always protected me from any kind of harm;

When I scraped my knee or hurt myself, you would come and nurse me and console me, stopping my tears;

When people ganged up against me, you would stand in front of me like my shield;

Always when I cried, you were always there by my side, wiping my tears away;

Never once did you not forgive me, never once did you tell my secrets;

Laying down on my bed night after night, I just can't sleep. Anyone, help? Memories of my childhood days with my closest friends haunting me. Those days in Switzerland where I met Mikey, Shawn, Rmk, Nate. Memories flooding back to me.

Wonder if anyone remembers back when I was only 5, we were once brought for a family farm stay at Perth. You and I woke up especially early and took a walk together at the farm. I being the naughty little girl when I was young ran around and accidently broke an egg that the Hen just 'gave birth' to. Becoming flustered, I cried and ran to you. You looked at me and told me, " Its okay, tiff. I'm here ". You took the blame when we were asked with me hiding behind you the entire time. This may sound childish to you readers, but back than when I was 5... it meant alot.

And then, I thought, you were like my hero then. The pillar I leaned on. Everytime I got scolded, everytime I got into trouble, everytime I got bullied for the weirdest reasons like being asia, you were always there.

Always.

Everytime I wanted something, needed company, needed help with anything from homework to persuading my parents to let me out, you were always there. Always.

But now, always is impossible.

Then I thought how stupid I have been to ignore your feelings. How stupid I was to let you slip through my fingers. I was the one that had the choice, but blinded by all I had, I chose the other. Hence, I have no rights whatsoever to decide anymore. I gave up my chance. Its my fault. No one elses.

No one.

Empty.

Torned apart.

Alone.

xoxo,

Tiffany

2009-06-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

Tiffany here.

I am going to break the news now. Stacy, Mikey, Cloe and I are staying in Switzerland. I am very sorry towards the people who i broke my promise to. But i believe that staying here is for the better. Sorry. But i will still be able to contact you guys, no? There's always msn.

Today the four of us switced rooms from the temporary one to the permanent one. It is much bigger I suppose. We have a common room, Kitchen, four rooms. Stace and I are sharing one bathroom ad Mikey and Cloe another. Since its newly decorated, I shall post pictures.

Tiffany's Room ( a.k.a mine )

My bed.

Study Table

Mini Lounge in my room

Stacy's Room.

Stacy's Bed

Stacy's study Table

Stacy's Mini Lounge

Mikey's Room

Mikey's Bed

Mikey's Study table

Mikey's mini lounge

Cloe's Room

Cloe's bed

Cloe's study table

Cloe's mini lounge

Our common room

How do u find them?

Every where I turn, I see your face;
Every person I talk to, I hear your voice;
Every person I bump into, I can feel your touch.
Your soft features with an angelic smirk on your perfect lips;
Your gentle yet firm voice telling me that everything’s gonna be all right;
Your loving hands supporting me everytime things go wrong.
But everytime I turn, you are not there;
Everytime I respond, you are not the one I am talking to.
Everytime I embrace some body, I miss you so much more.
Whenever your name is being mentioned;
I remember the times I spent with you.
The good and bad times;
The times I hit you and scream at you to unleash my anger;
you still embraced me lovingly.
The times when I walked away from you, you looked everywhere for me.
The times I cried, you were there;
Whispering loving sentences to cheer me up.
The times when you go to ridiculous boundaries just to make me happy.
Even though I have went against your limits countless of times;
By teasing you or making you angry;
You always had a smile for me to make my day.
Your bright eyes, smittening smile and contagious laugh haunts me every second.
Your unique sense of humor lingers in my soul.
Thinking about you confuses my emotions;
I do not know whether I should cry or smile;
Because of the hurtful things I have done to you;
And the silly things you have done for me

; But, Loving you is a deadly sin.

With Love,

Tiffany

Heart Breaking Truth

2009-05-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

Tiffany here.

I miss you.

I do.

But no, Its wrong.

I am not suppose to miss you.

I am tired. I feel like ending everything will be great.

My heart is telling me something. But my head is telling me another.

What my heart is telling me will hurt everyone. If i am to follow, i will be hurting people i don't want to hurt. What my head tells me will make everyone relieved.

So, I am to chose what my head tells me. But what I am following is tearing me apart.

Its okay. Its only me. Don't bother. And to all of you reading don't even try to talk me out. I am sorry but I am doing what's right. Am I not? I am.

Oh God. I shouted at someone yesterday. In my life I have never shouted at anyone before. I shouted at him. I shouldn't have. But I did. I have a gift for hurting people. I should keep myself away from those I am hurting.

As I was talking to Erik these days, he seems to see through everything. And he Knows everyting thats happening in my life now. I can't hide it from him. I just can't. Thank you Erik for listening to me and looking at me pour out my tears and rant. Thank you and Sorry. You could have spent those days doing other things.

Samantha and CO ( Passerby ), you guys should be happy now right? Don't worry. I'll keep up with the keeping distance with Kea, Shawn, Nate and Erik. I will. I saw what you guys did. And Yes, you got what u wanted. I'll leave soon anyway.

I am offered something from the school board today. I heard Erik initiated it. Only the school board, Erik and I know about it. Its a good offer. I can aviod everyone then right? I can stop hurting people then right? Yeah. I'll consider.

I've hurt you all.

RMK

SKJ

BYLM

NCAR

I am sorry. really.

"Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do"

Love,

Fany

I am not supposed to feel like that.

2009-05-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

Tiffany here.

Been updating alot, no? Heh. Yesterday, I wondered into the woods. Walking alone helps i guess. Walking around I realise everyone, meaning the animals, had company. Wondered if they were laughing down at me being alone. Well, sometimes in life you just have to walk alone no?

Life is getting more messed up as i emerge myself into my mood swings. I am sorry guys if I take out my anger on anyone of you. I am sorry, really. Messed up Fany. Rare to most people but " messed up Fany " lived inside me since Grade 2. And yeah, i guess i am not normal.

I realised that these days I run away alot. Whenever I am with Kea, Shawn or Nate, I run away. From what? I don't know. I am just running away. Deep in my heart, its telling me its denial. Then I think. "Denial?" Of what? .... I don't know. Another habit of mine these days is saying " I am okay / Don't worry. / I'll be fine. " Ohh, whatever.

Yesterday, I went to the lake. God. I never realised how breathtaking the lake can be. Le Rosey was my Alma Mater but I never really took notice of all the lovely things here. As i was sitting by the lake, I looked into the water and thought to myself, how nice it would be to just be in there. Deep down. Ohh no, the damsel in distress Fany is back. Not good!

Guess who i saw at by the Lake? Erik. Yes, Erik Kevin Night. The trainee teacher. And also the youngest teacher on campus. Only 17. The hot topic this week of the school, Erik Kevin Night. He saw me and called me to sit by him and asked whats wrong. I looked at him with a suprised face and asked him what does he mean by "whats wrong?". He said he knew something was up when he saw my face. I stared and him wondering, How did he tell?! Well, even Kea, Shawn, Brian, Stacy, Mikey and Cloe took sometime to regsiter the fact that something was up. But Erik Kevin Night just looked at me and could tell something was wrong? Unbelievable. I told him nothing was wrong and we just continued sitting there in silence. Not awkward silence. It was comfortable silence.

Sat there until Kea and Shawn made me come back. Left unwillingly with one last glance at Erik seeing that he was asleep i left my cardigan with him. And NO. I do not like Erik that way. He is a teacher. I only thought that maybe I've found someone that can just read me like a book. I feel strangely at ease with this teacher. God. It sounds like a drama. Lol.

Can't seem to sleep these days. Every night, crying myself to sleep i repeat to myself " I can't, I shan't and I won't." This feeling is wrong. Someone, anyone put me to sleep forever?

"What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

Love, Fany

Complications of the heart.

2009-05-15T03:17:00.000-07:00

Tiffany here.

Life is Complicated. Never thought I would say that. But yes, Life is complicated.
I am not saying I am not blessed to have people to care for me. But, I don't want to hurt people.
All the friends I have around me are just like family. I don't want to hurt people.
As selfish as I may seem, I ultimately just don't want to have an ending whereby anyone is hurt.
I have been very selfish, no?

Hurting people seem to be my speciality. I hurt Kea, Jared, Brian, Shawn. Everyone.
Gosh. I am so sinful, no? All my fault. God, now i sound like a damsel in distress.
Whats wrong with me these days? Stacy, Mikey and Cloe are all worried that I'll be captured by Shawn again. I don't know how to reply Shawn and Brian. And Kea.... nevermind.

Life just ain't going smoothly for me. Neither is it for anyone right? Shall not rant on and on about my problems. There are much greater things people go through right?
Maybe. Just maybe, i should do the disappearing trick I did years ago. It might work. Just Maybe...

On a brighter note, I have completed a few papers. English down. Calculas Down. Chinese Down. World History Down. And another week to go! :D Praying for the French Lit paper to be easy!

아프다고 말하면 정말 아플 것
같아서슬프다고 말하면 눈물이 날 것
같아서그냥 웃지 그냥 웃지 그냥
웃지그런데 사람들이 왜 우냐고 물어

Maybe, Just maybe, if i disappeared, Everyone will be happy.

Whats this mixed feeling inside me?

Nono, I can't, I shan't and I won't.

" If Life is a box of chocolates, God must have gave me only dark ones. "

Love, Fany.

2009-04-25T23:41:00.000-07:00

Tiffany here(: Again.

Hope you guys aren't bored by my updates. Stacy would love to update too but her Cello exam is coming soon. :( Let's wish her all the best. I just came back from NYC and I enjoyed my stay there nevertheless. By the way, I went to New York City, which is in New York State. I just ha to clarify this as alot of people are like " NYC is really big! " But in actual fact NYS is big. Anyways, dayum( Kea's word ), didn't have enough time for shopping. Sadly. Sigh. Why doesn't Singapore have anything close to Juicy Couture? LOL. Okay, enough with my girly rantings. Saw Nicole ( Older sister ) and at the airport i was like " OMG! NICOLE KIM! I MISSED YOU LIKE ZSDJFLSKJSKDPDE! " And Nicole said this in loud whisper " Fany! Shuttup! You're really embarrassing! ", while pulling me for a hug. Rofl. I am irresistible yo! =X LOL.

My days in New York was mostly filled with finding all those delicious food that i missed so much. Well, i love the food here in Singapore but well, there are alot of bistros in New York that you just can't find in Singapore. I can name some that are must-trys, Di Fara, Aureole, Russ & Daughters, Aquavit and Del Posto. These are my all time favourite restaurants. Yesyes, I am a glutton. There is something that i absolutely cannot find in Singapore. And that something is knishes. Well i manage to get some at Yonah Schimmel Knishery after super long! (: I am a happy kid. And no kidding, these places are a must-go alrights? LOL.

Did do a little shopping. A little. :( I mean, i am a girl after all. Rofl. Did manage to get some stuffs. I was wishing i had more time back there. Sigh. I could have done endless shopping. Mwahaha. Thank God i was allowed to shop in NYC alone with Nicole. Well fine, Thanks to Nicole too for her amazing ability to convince my parents. =P I really did enjoy myself over there. At least I could let down my hair and not be the perfect girl that i am not in the first place. Lesson stress, Friendship problems and most importantly Him.

I am the one of the right. Stace is the one on the left.

When i was at Nicole's apartment. Rofl.

Gonna end my whole " I went to New York " essay. Dayum. I was looking for my Camera memory card the whole day. And i found it at the bottom of Stacy's Luggage. =X Being a kultz for the whole day. LOL.

When i came back from New York, Cloe came to pick me up. Supprised to see Mikey all decked in Black. Black Topshop Scarf, black WM Turtle Neck, Black A&F Straight Cut Jeans (mine) and black converse. Her face was like -> O_O And she was like " Mikeyyyyyyy! What happened?! " Rofl. Thank God me and Stace wasn't in the mood for decking in all black. If not we will all suffer the screams of Miss Cloe. Fact: Cloe being Ms Sunshine hates black. Hahas. And i went " Cloe, you are lucky Mikey didn't put on her black contacts. " Earning yet another scream for Cloe. Dayum.

Anyways, i am gonna post a msn conversation with a certain someone. Because even though i am hurt, it the truth. I have to face it, no?

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